Top 15 BTVS episodes ↳ 13. After Life Wherever I was… I was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it. Time didn’t mean anything… nothing had form but I was still me, you know? And I was warm and I was loved and I was finished. Complete. I don’t understand about theology or dimensions or any of it, really… but I think I was in heaven. And now I’m not. I was torn out of there. Pulled out… by my friends. Everything here is hard and bright and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch… this is hell. Just getting through the next moment and the one after that… knowing what I’ve lost.